Oh....I messed up this time....

Sophie seemed to be getting too hot while she spent time outside, and needed a trim. I really wanted to take her to the groomer, but on the same token, I don't want to be sued if she attacks them. Granted, I seriously doubt that a dog the size of a Guinea pig could do much damage, but you never know. Plus, it's kinda embarrassing the way she wigs out in public. I thought, surely it couldn't be that difficult, so I got an electric razor for dogs. It took a while to get her used to the sound. In retrospect, I should have just given up on the whole idea and sprung for a dog sedative at the vet's or something & had a pro do her hair. I tried using the guard, and the process was just so excruciatingly slow that I took it off. I tried, I really did, but she was starting to look like she'd gotten tangled up with a weed-whacker, at best, if not a slight case of the mange. I had some errands to run, so I decided to stop while I was ahead and just try to find a groomer willing to repair the damage I'd already done. Well, I probably should have discussed this with my daughter, because when I got home, Sophie was pretty much bald. Not an "even" bald either.... She was only trying to help.....I'm still finding fur everywhere. When my youngest daughter got home from her Dad's the next day, you'd have thought we'd killed the Soph and had her stuffed & mounted!!! She was so upset!! I guess I would be upset too if I came home and someone had turned my BFF (Best Furry Friend) into a naked mole-rat! Well, we got Sophie a dress to wear outside...my reason was to protect against sun-burn, and her reasoning was so the other dogs wouldn't make fun of her. At least we'd left the hair on her head and tail...so she didn't look completely ridiculas, but I admit, it really didn't help much... I'm not sure what I'll use those stupid clippers for in the future, but it certainly won't be on Sophie!!! Hmmmm....I guess I should have watched the dvd directions that came with it...? Wonder if I still have that?

Soph does NOT need a friend

Oh boy. My daughter wants another dog so the Soph won't be "lonely." She's driving me nuts over it. Until a couple days ago, guess who had to do EVERYTHING for EVERY pet we've ever had? Yours truly. For two whole days, the kid takes care of her own dog, and that warrants my jumping up and getting another. Sometimes I wonder what planet kids live on in their mind, because it sure isn't this one. Sure, I'd like to get her a zoo, but geez! The cats are enough! I can't prove it, but I think they're the ones that keep losing my measuring tape. I say this because every time I forget to clean the litter box, there is a pile of cat poo, X marks the spot, in the path of where I have to walk through the garage to get in/out of my car. It varies. Sometimes, they go where I step out of the car, nowhere near the box. The Soph, kids & cats are enough to clean up after. I think I'd run away from home if I had anything else to deal with, and I'm already contemplating it as it is.

Salem Defended His Buddy Sophie!!

My neighbor's son told me that the other day his dog (Shepherd mix) got loose and went to play with Sophie (on her lanyard). He said Salem (my cat) came out of nowhere, stood between the dogs, and when his dog tried to get near Sophie, Salem attacked him!!! How cute!! My kitty is defending the dog!!! Well, Salem is a good 9 lbs larger in both height and girth than the Soph!!!

I'm a terrible pet-parent

I am trying to do everything I was taught in her Potty-Training class. It would work, were my communication skills more profficient! I take her from her crate to the puppy pad, and nothing.....ten minutes....nothing. I put her back into her crate, she arches her back into the poo stance. I say "no." Not yelling, just firm. To make a long story short, she apparently interprets this as "Never poop again." Back & forth each morning. Each afternoon, cleaning it up. I even put her food in her crate. She pooped in it. It's not her, it's me & my lack of skills at this! Why can't I just send her to boarding school for this!!!!!???? I'm calling her trainer tomorrow!!! Anyway....that's about all going on with my sweet baby Soph! The CATS, on the other hand....OH DEAR!!!

I just love birds. They are such graceful, beautiful, delicate creatures. Got some things to attract them this weekend. Filled up the hummingbird feeder with fresh mixture. I re-constructed an old satellite pole for a bird-feeder. Got a concrete (2 pc) bird bath (weighs a ton!). When I look out to see my beautiful, little birdies, the feeder is cocked over and the bird-bath bowl is on the ground. The cats have mistaken the feeder for their personal snack-shack, and the bath for a cat-feeder. What have I done? My friend, Ralph, says I made the cats a buffet!!! I did, unintentionally! How do I rectify this? I have created baited traps for my cats utilization, ultimately! To make matters worse, as my buddy D pointed out, the bird feeder is almost even with the top of a hill, which they could easily pounce from. I was already impressed with my dear felines' natural predatory skills, but this is taking it to a whole new level.... It's one thing that they catch prey naturally, but now I'm an accessory!!!! I feel so guilty!!!! I never wanted to give our feathered little friends the unfair advantage!!!! Give me a minute....I'll rectify this somehow with good old ingenuity!!!

Super Soph-Give that Girl a Cape

Sophie loves tv & her favorite channel is Animal Planet, go figure. She's watching a couple Orcas stalking a seal on a drifting chunk of ice, and barking. I wish I knew which one she was cheering for. Her little barks may be wishing I was the seal, lol, because her new potty-training regimen involves a small crate, of which she's less than thrilled. We're making some progress. She lets me know when she has to tinkle, but for whatever reason, not when she has to poop. She presses her furry little fanny against the back of the cage and tries to launch the stinky torpedos outside the crate. Sometimes she is successful. If I let her out and don't keep a close watch on her, she'll leave a puddle or a land mine in front of every doorway I frequently use. On a positive note, she's quickly learning the 'quiet' command, among others!
I think she's gained a pound in fur! I want to take her to a groomer, but until her anger issues are worked out, I don't think that's a good idea. I'm sure she's just being protective. She's Cujo around strangers. So, until then, I have to shave her behind to prevent another 'crap-catcher' from forming. Boy, was that disgusting! LOL! Se's riled up now barking at animal clips!!! I've never had a dog that watched tv before!!! (Why does it feel so odd calling her a dog?) She's my little genius!! If only she can learn to use her powers for good!! She's such a sweetie!! I love my baby girl! Well, I'm worn out from us chasing each other around the garage. :) Nite nite.

Gangsta Soph

I don't even know where to start. This girl has been raised to be a sweet little lap pooch. She was spoiled from birth. She wasn't born in a puppy-mill-ghetto. She was born into a loving home, where I adopted her into a loving family. It's not like she's on the streets with pit bulls or anything, fighting for scraps. Heck, she's 3.5 pounds, how far would she get anyway? She's a meal for a house cat & a light snack for a beagle, c'mon now! She had her potty-training class Saturday. I got her the cutest outfit! It was a 1-piece with a pink belt, a skirt, and a shirt with "Drama Queen" on the back. Very fitting to her personality. Well, we got to the class early, at PetSmart. A nice lady came up to us as I was holding her, walking through the store. When she commented on Soph's aggressiveness, I said, "Aww, just hold your hand out and let her sniff, and she'll be fine." She did, and Sophie bit her. OOPS! Usually, she chills out & sniffs, and makes friends. Evidently, that wasn't her day, because she bit 3 more people that day, including her teacher. Way to make friends, girl!!! Her trainer is the daughter of an associate of mine. She was wonderful! She is very gifted with dogs, well, except that Sophie is neurotic. She loved Sophie anyway :). I am confident that enrolling Sophie in her further education classes will help with the Soph's stress level. I must say, at the rate she's going, she's looking at a stroke in the near future! At home, she is such a doll & a sweetie!!! She's so kind & tiny!!! I can give her a tiny treat, and she takes forever to bite it from between my fingers so that her teeny teeth won't scratch my fingers!!! She's the most loving baby-doll I've ever had in my life! I think she'd be happier, were she not so stressed! This isn't the half of it! Afterwards, my friend, Rachel, called me and invited us to got for a walk with her and Tucker, her beautiful Lab pup. Tucker wanted so badly to befriend Soph, but she, barely the size of his head, nearly took his little nose off every time he came near her! I should have named her "Taz" like the tasmanian devil or something. "Cujo" would be very fitting. I have faith in my sweet girl though!!! I'm signing her up for the other classes in hopes that everyone can see her true personality instead of this rabid crazed freak! Then, we'll get us a real guard dog for her to hang out with. I know she means well trying to be my bouncer, but baby girl could get hurt bad by a thug hamster if she got too ballsy!!!!

I need to explain to the Soph: This ain't Beverly Hills

I love my Soph. As much as I complain, I truly don't think I could live without her. However, I am questioning my loyalty to my teenage daughters, and am praying they'll get past this stage where they hate me every time I blink. My youngest is starting this stage. Were it not for the predators, I'd have a great blog about my girls, let me tell you! .....anyway. Back to the Soph! I try. I try so hard! I can't get it through her little furry head that she is to deficate OUTSIDE. I take her out repeatedly, yet she always comes in and makes numerous deposits INSIDE!!! I tried the pads, the spray, ect. Doesn't work. There's no 'easy' way to accomplish this. I take her out at night, and let her stay out a good while, to no avail.
I like for her to sleep with me, because I hate for her to be on the cold floor in her little bed. Besides, she's so sweet and cuddley! She's my little teddy bear! Where this goes south is about 5:00 AM, when I start smelling something strange. Of course I'm only vaguely conscious... [To give her credit, she hasn't pooped in the bed in a good while. Yay! That was really disgusting!!!] I understand she's small and can't hold her liquid, but what confuses me is WHY does she do it, merely inches away from my face and, in addition, right where my hip lies? Both places!!! Not every night, but enough nights to leave me wondering. I'm starting to take it personally. Hmmmm.. I am starting to see the point of the pet-psychiatrists in Beverly Hills. If that's her angle, I need to communicate with with her. This is Alabama. We don't have those, but we do have Taxidermists.
LOL!!! Just kidding!!! We start potty training classes very soon!!! I love my baby, but if she doesn't want to sleep in a kennel, she better stop this!

Sophie the Wild One & Biscuit the Snake Handler

There's a picture of Biscuit in one of the pictures posted from the other day. He came in yesterday evening with, at first look, appeared to be a hole in the upper part of his arm from a fly larvae. I can't remember what it's called, but I've heard it referred to as a "wolf worm." After cleaning it up, I found 2 puncture wounds, side-by-side, about 1/4" apart. They were draining profusely, and smelled rotten. My first thought was to dial 911, but thought that may not go over well. It wasn't swollen, but the holes were completely through the skin. His behavior & appetite were fine. I cleaned it several times. I started out bandaging the area & shaving it with an electric razor, but he tore off the gauze & all. He didn't like the shave too well. I made him sleep in Sophie's bed in my room so I could keep an eye on him. I got up and checked on him a few times, but it did nothing more than piss him off, so I'm sure he feels fine. He's still doing great & the wound has shown signs of healing. I hope that's the last time he tries to mess with a snake, if that's what it was. It was warm enough for them to be out sunning...Anyway, I wish Biscuit & Salem would stay in like Zeus, but they love romping & hunting. I think it'd be wrong to force them to stay in, when they love the outdoors so much.
The Soph got some new toys yesterday at Petsmart. She got a new tooth-brush, new toys & signed up for a potty training class. She likes her fuzzy yellow duck, but hates the toothbrush! The fuzzy toys are her favorites. Today, after her bath & tooth-brush war, we went to the park. 2 teenagers walked up to get a good look at her saying, "Oh how cute," when Sophie did her Cujo routine, sending them running away. I promise, she's had her rabies vaccine, but every time she sees a stranger, she's a 'born killer.' Anyway, at the park, she had a little chicken sandwich & got to just run, run, run! She loved it! She's crashed out in her little bed now. Nite nite, our wild ferocious little protector!!!

1 More Pic

Sophie Pics !

Sophie Pics!

Oh Dear....What shall I do?

I'm worthless at raising a dog. Soph sleeps with me at night. In the mornings, I try to take her out before she gets "antsy," because you know what that means. Well, I've been trying to get my daughter to take on more responsibility,so I asked her to take Sophie out. Well, that's like talking to a stump when it comes to chores. Meanwhile, I had laid out my clothes for the work-day out on the bed. So, I took her out, as usual. Afterwards, I put on my undershirt, and noticed a wet spot on it. Where did that come fr....SOPHIE!!!! GROSS!!!! I started checking the rest of the clothes I had planned to wear. My whole outfit was ruined, but at least it didn't soak through to the bedding! I HATE it when I have to wash all the layers of bedding because she 'couldn't wait.' It takes HOURS to wash and dry, with my pitiful dryer, and all that for a 3" diameter spot on a king-size bed!!! Grrrr!
YESTERDAY morning, I was getting ready to leave out for work, when she escaped, untethered. This horrifies me, because even though I live on a circle, and there's NO excuse for anyone to drive fast enough to kill an animal, I have lost 2 dogs and 1 cat here. So, I chase the fluffy little house-shoe down the street and around my [loud] neighbor's yard. That neighbor is a nuisance, I'm telling you. That little brat wore me out! I was huffing and puffing & sweating when my daughter opened the door to our house, and Sophie ran right in!!!! It's a good thing too, because I was ready to make the equivalent of a 'touch-down' from the furthest yard-line with my foot and her fanny!!!! God Bless the furball!
Another thing. The Soph is the first dog I've ever had that 'watches TV.' Literally. She's ok with sit-coms, but during movies, or animal documentaries where they walk toward the camera, she barks at them like they are getting too close to her 'space.' She's a mess!!! I need to take pics & measure her. She's 3.5 lbs & I'm estimating her shoulder height at 3 to 4 inches at best, yet she's the most ferocious, but loving, canine I've ever had!!! Her good traits more than make up for her irritating ones. Being a cat-person, I have to rag on her! She's turning me into a dog-person, but I'm resisting! Heck, I don't know why. My cats are needier than most dogs!!! LOL!

????

For some reason, my titles will only appear in Arabic? Hmmm? what did I do & how do I fix it? Nothing against Arabic, I just need it in English so I know I spelled it correctly and everyone I know can read it. The Soph royally pissed me off this morning! I digress, it all started almost 20 years ago when I realized I was having kids, and became the brunt of everything that could possibly go wrong. If someone passed gas, and the flatulence fogged the air of my children, it was my fault and it ruined their lives. Having said that, you can get a snapshot of the burden of blame I carry throughout life. I am not given credit for my accomplishments, only condemnation for my shortcomings. Oh how freaking inadequate and what a loser I am! KISS MY BIG FAT ASS!!! I am so freaking sorry that I wasn't 'there' enough while I was hanging chickens during the day and going to school at night so that I could get a better job to pay for their freaking Blackberry contract, own bedroom, Ipod-Touch, and Wii!!! KISS MY GINORMOUS FLABBY ASS! Anyway, the Soph got 'out' ths morning. I was so mad! I chased her down the street & into my noisy neighbor's yard. Why I was concerned about waking THEM up, I'll never know, since they keep me up all hours with their ridiculas amp & music! BOOM BOOM! The bastards. Anyway, I chased the little fuzzy brat around just for her to run back into the house when my daughter opened the door to go out and wait for the bus! I was so mad and out of breath! In a nutshell, people and the Soph just piss me off at times. I'm ready for a peaceful life for a change. The Soph makes life great in spite of it all. She's a doll! The fuzzy brat!

OOPS!

Oh dear! I learn something new every day. My 10 yr old daughter usually gives Sophie her baths, which explains a lot. I've not had a chance to make an appointment with the groomer, either. The other night, we were watching tv when this awful smell permeated the air. We looked everywhere,found nothing, and decided one of the critters must have had gas. Well, a few minutes later, it was back, more pungent than ever! It went away again. I figured Sophie must have gas, so I asked my daughter to take her out. As soon as she picked her up, this awful smell filled the room and I noticed this huge "patty," for the lack of a better term, pan-caked to Sophie's bum!!! I would rather it have been flatulence. Oh geez, apparently a "web" formed between baths, finally dense enough to 'catch' everything!!! EW! I'm not going into details about cleaning THAT up. Well, I thought I had the solution. I didn't listen to that stupid little voice asking me "Are you sure you don't want to rethink this?" So, I went ahead and got some electric clippers at the dollar store, thinking well, men use them on their face every day....it can't be that difficult. Well, I got nowhere with the guard on, so I took it off. It took 3 of us to hold Sophie in place, but that fur just zipped right off. I didn't cut her, but part of her fanny got a bit pink,just enough to get rid of the "web." Well, it must have been a little too much, because she dragged her fanny around for a while by her front paws, back legs stretched out in front of her. Maybe it's prickly or something? After that, she seemed to feel kind of liberated. Either way, she's going to the groomers soon, which is obviously where I should have taken her to begin with. My 'little voice' needs a remote for the shock collar I also need. The shock collar also needs to be set at "taser." Poor little Soph! I was only trying to help!

My Cat is Disturbed

Cats are strange members of the animal kingdom, I give you that. They are typically odd creatures who intentionally insult everyone they come in contact with. People who love cats usually can't get them to come near them when they want to pet them, and people who dislike cats can't seem to make them go away. This is part of feline genetics. Just like how animals can sense fear, cats have the natural instinct to instantaneously and precisely calculate how they can cut a person down lower than the pellets of the mice they catch. Somehow, I may be cursed to be a spinster cat-lady for life, because I've always been somewhat of their "alpha female" or something twisted like that, because they usually act pretty much like dogs with me. Who knows. Anyway, Zeus is taking it to a whole new level, and Salem is not far behind. They act pretty bizarre. Fortunately, thank GOD Biscuit acts like a NORMAL cat and continuously gives me 'go straight to hell' looks, so I still have hope. Zeus has an OCD thing going on. He has this uncontrollable obsession with grabbing my face with his paws, and rubbing his cold, wet nose, and drooling mouth all over my face. Have you ever seen a cat drool? It's weird. He stalks me to do it. He knows my routine, so he'll hide in the bathroom cabinet until I get home from work. As soon as I get on the porcelaine throne, he ambushes me!!!! Opens the door, and leaps from the cabinet onto my lap and grabs my head, and starts his obsessive slobbering and rubbing his mouth on my face. That nose is cold, the whiskers tickle and those claws don't feel so great either! He even hides under the bed or in my closet so he can wake me up at night doing this!!! Zeus has some very serious issues. Salem's aren't quite as bad. He just wants to lay on my pillow above my head and make biscuits, with his paws, in my hair. He gets carried away and chews my hair or gives it a bath sometimes. It's kinda gross, because then my hair smells like fish. Between the Soph waking up and 'digging' into the covers before she does her circles to lay back down, Miranda kicking me in her sleep (not to mention my daily deposit interruption), Salem's hair fetish, and Zeus's nuzzeling issues....I am NOT GETTING ANY SLEEP!!! They all need to get out of my bed!!! I love them....but they all need to resolve their own issues, and stop waking me up @ 3:00 AM!!!

A Ferocious Lion Trapped in a 3.5 lb Dog's Body

I've seen it all now. I am not sure we'll ever be allowed in Petsmart again. I'll get some sunglasses and scope it out this weekend, while it's crowded, to see if there are and "wanted posters" of Sophie posted. She was running low on her food, so we stopped by there the other day while we were running errands. We don't go to Petco, because it always smells so bad. Ew...gives me the weebie-jeebies and a gag just thinking about it. It's called LYSOL, people!! Anyway. So we go in Petsmart looking around. Of course people can't help but stop every time they see this sweet fluffy little face! It starts with "OH!!! HOW SWEET!!!" and ends with this blood-curdling, ear-piercing, high pitched "GGGRRRR!!!!! ARARARARARARA!!!!! ggggrrrrr!!!!! GGGGRRRRRR!!!! AARARRAAARRAARRAAARAA!!!!(SNAP SNAP!!!)" This sweet little dog, not as big as a fuzzy house-shoe, goes from Gizmo to Stripe at the drop of a hat. Then, if a poor soul is brave enough to pet her, she'll stand there, growling and shaking in anticipation of taking a finger-tip off......they hold their hand out to her, palm up, then she licks them & wags her tail. Who'd have thunk it?

Sometimes, even if just one person is checking out in front of me, it can take FOR-EV-ER there. I saw an empty checker, and was sprinting to get there before anyone else did. I still feel so guilty! As I was racing to the check-out, which is SO SSSSSSSSSSS-LLLLLLLLLLLLLL-OOOOOOOOOOOO-WWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, and I truly feel bad for not stopping, but 2 sweet little girls asked if they could pet this teeth-gnashing, salivating, growling, fierce lion trapped in a brown cotton ball of a body, but I had my eye on the prize (checking out before menopause began and ended, because it was already hot enough in there) and just yelled "SURE!" over my shoulder, sweating and sweltering in my layers. Well then, while I was doing the 50 questions with the checker, the little girls didn't even get to pet the oh-so-ferocious one, because she was being a viscious monster that day. Speaking of heat, WHY does every store have the heat jacked up to 90 right now? If people want to walk around half naked in this, they deserve to freeze.

I always have to hold the Soph in Petsmart, because I'm afraid that one day, she's going to snap on a golden retriever that is going to just see a little appetizer and swallow her in one gulp. As little as she is, I'm sure even a Schnauzer wouldn't have a problem getting her down, fluff & all. :)