Oh Dear....What shall I do?

I'm worthless at raising a dog. Soph sleeps with me at night. In the mornings, I try to take her out before she gets "antsy," because you know what that means. Well, I've been trying to get my daughter to take on more responsibility,so I asked her to take Sophie out. Well, that's like talking to a stump when it comes to chores. Meanwhile, I had laid out my clothes for the work-day out on the bed. So, I took her out, as usual. Afterwards, I put on my undershirt, and noticed a wet spot on it. Where did that come fr....SOPHIE!!!! GROSS!!!! I started checking the rest of the clothes I had planned to wear. My whole outfit was ruined, but at least it didn't soak through to the bedding! I HATE it when I have to wash all the layers of bedding because she 'couldn't wait.' It takes HOURS to wash and dry, with my pitiful dryer, and all that for a 3" diameter spot on a king-size bed!!! Grrrr!
YESTERDAY morning, I was getting ready to leave out for work, when she escaped, untethered. This horrifies me, because even though I live on a circle, and there's NO excuse for anyone to drive fast enough to kill an animal, I have lost 2 dogs and 1 cat here. So, I chase the fluffy little house-shoe down the street and around my [loud] neighbor's yard. That neighbor is a nuisance, I'm telling you. That little brat wore me out! I was huffing and puffing & sweating when my daughter opened the door to our house, and Sophie ran right in!!!! It's a good thing too, because I was ready to make the equivalent of a 'touch-down' from the furthest yard-line with my foot and her fanny!!!! God Bless the furball!
Another thing. The Soph is the first dog I've ever had that 'watches TV.' Literally. She's ok with sit-coms, but during movies, or animal documentaries where they walk toward the camera, she barks at them like they are getting too close to her 'space.' She's a mess!!! I need to take pics & measure her. She's 3.5 lbs & I'm estimating her shoulder height at 3 to 4 inches at best, yet she's the most ferocious, but loving, canine I've ever had!!! Her good traits more than make up for her irritating ones. Being a cat-person, I have to rag on her! She's turning me into a dog-person, but I'm resisting! Heck, I don't know why. My cats are needier than most dogs!!! LOL!