I need to explain to the Soph: This ain't Beverly Hills

I love my Soph. As much as I complain, I truly don't think I could live without her. However, I am questioning my loyalty to my teenage daughters, and am praying they'll get past this stage where they hate me every time I blink. My youngest is starting this stage. Were it not for the predators, I'd have a great blog about my girls, let me tell you! .....anyway. Back to the Soph! I try. I try so hard! I can't get it through her little furry head that she is to deficate OUTSIDE. I take her out repeatedly, yet she always comes in and makes numerous deposits INSIDE!!! I tried the pads, the spray, ect. Doesn't work. There's no 'easy' way to accomplish this. I take her out at night, and let her stay out a good while, to no avail.
I like for her to sleep with me, because I hate for her to be on the cold floor in her little bed. Besides, she's so sweet and cuddley! She's my little teddy bear! Where this goes south is about 5:00 AM, when I start smelling something strange. Of course I'm only vaguely conscious... [To give her credit, she hasn't pooped in the bed in a good while. Yay! That was really disgusting!!!] I understand she's small and can't hold her liquid, but what confuses me is WHY does she do it, merely inches away from my face and, in addition, right where my hip lies? Both places!!! Not every night, but enough nights to leave me wondering. I'm starting to take it personally. Hmmmm.. I am starting to see the point of the pet-psychiatrists in Beverly Hills. If that's her angle, I need to communicate with with her. This is Alabama. We don't have those, but we do have Taxidermists.
LOL!!! Just kidding!!! We start potty training classes very soon!!! I love my baby, but if she doesn't want to sleep in a kennel, she better stop this!

Sophie the Wild One & Biscuit the Snake Handler

There's a picture of Biscuit in one of the pictures posted from the other day. He came in yesterday evening with, at first look, appeared to be a hole in the upper part of his arm from a fly larvae. I can't remember what it's called, but I've heard it referred to as a "wolf worm." After cleaning it up, I found 2 puncture wounds, side-by-side, about 1/4" apart. They were draining profusely, and smelled rotten. My first thought was to dial 911, but thought that may not go over well. It wasn't swollen, but the holes were completely through the skin. His behavior & appetite were fine. I cleaned it several times. I started out bandaging the area & shaving it with an electric razor, but he tore off the gauze & all. He didn't like the shave too well. I made him sleep in Sophie's bed in my room so I could keep an eye on him. I got up and checked on him a few times, but it did nothing more than piss him off, so I'm sure he feels fine. He's still doing great & the wound has shown signs of healing. I hope that's the last time he tries to mess with a snake, if that's what it was. It was warm enough for them to be out sunning...Anyway, I wish Biscuit & Salem would stay in like Zeus, but they love romping & hunting. I think it'd be wrong to force them to stay in, when they love the outdoors so much.
The Soph got some new toys yesterday at Petsmart. She got a new tooth-brush, new toys & signed up for a potty training class. She likes her fuzzy yellow duck, but hates the toothbrush! The fuzzy toys are her favorites. Today, after her bath & tooth-brush war, we went to the park. 2 teenagers walked up to get a good look at her saying, "Oh how cute," when Sophie did her Cujo routine, sending them running away. I promise, she's had her rabies vaccine, but every time she sees a stranger, she's a 'born killer.' Anyway, at the park, she had a little chicken sandwich & got to just run, run, run! She loved it! She's crashed out in her little bed now. Nite nite, our wild ferocious little protector!!!

1 More Pic

Sophie Pics !

Sophie Pics!

Oh Dear....What shall I do?

I'm worthless at raising a dog. Soph sleeps with me at night. In the mornings, I try to take her out before she gets "antsy," because you know what that means. Well, I've been trying to get my daughter to take on more responsibility,so I asked her to take Sophie out. Well, that's like talking to a stump when it comes to chores. Meanwhile, I had laid out my clothes for the work-day out on the bed. So, I took her out, as usual. Afterwards, I put on my undershirt, and noticed a wet spot on it. Where did that come fr....SOPHIE!!!! GROSS!!!! I started checking the rest of the clothes I had planned to wear. My whole outfit was ruined, but at least it didn't soak through to the bedding! I HATE it when I have to wash all the layers of bedding because she 'couldn't wait.' It takes HOURS to wash and dry, with my pitiful dryer, and all that for a 3" diameter spot on a king-size bed!!! Grrrr!
YESTERDAY morning, I was getting ready to leave out for work, when she escaped, untethered. This horrifies me, because even though I live on a circle, and there's NO excuse for anyone to drive fast enough to kill an animal, I have lost 2 dogs and 1 cat here. So, I chase the fluffy little house-shoe down the street and around my [loud] neighbor's yard. That neighbor is a nuisance, I'm telling you. That little brat wore me out! I was huffing and puffing & sweating when my daughter opened the door to our house, and Sophie ran right in!!!! It's a good thing too, because I was ready to make the equivalent of a 'touch-down' from the furthest yard-line with my foot and her fanny!!!! God Bless the furball!
Another thing. The Soph is the first dog I've ever had that 'watches TV.' Literally. She's ok with sit-coms, but during movies, or animal documentaries where they walk toward the camera, she barks at them like they are getting too close to her 'space.' She's a mess!!! I need to take pics & measure her. She's 3.5 lbs & I'm estimating her shoulder height at 3 to 4 inches at best, yet she's the most ferocious, but loving, canine I've ever had!!! Her good traits more than make up for her irritating ones. Being a cat-person, I have to rag on her! She's turning me into a dog-person, but I'm resisting! Heck, I don't know why. My cats are needier than most dogs!!! LOL!

????

For some reason, my titles will only appear in Arabic? Hmmm? what did I do & how do I fix it? Nothing against Arabic, I just need it in English so I know I spelled it correctly and everyone I know can read it. The Soph royally pissed me off this morning! I digress, it all started almost 20 years ago when I realized I was having kids, and became the brunt of everything that could possibly go wrong. If someone passed gas, and the flatulence fogged the air of my children, it was my fault and it ruined their lives. Having said that, you can get a snapshot of the burden of blame I carry throughout life. I am not given credit for my accomplishments, only condemnation for my shortcomings. Oh how freaking inadequate and what a loser I am! KISS MY BIG FAT ASS!!! I am so freaking sorry that I wasn't 'there' enough while I was hanging chickens during the day and going to school at night so that I could get a better job to pay for their freaking Blackberry contract, own bedroom, Ipod-Touch, and Wii!!! KISS MY GINORMOUS FLABBY ASS! Anyway, the Soph got 'out' ths morning. I was so mad! I chased her down the street & into my noisy neighbor's yard. Why I was concerned about waking THEM up, I'll never know, since they keep me up all hours with their ridiculas amp & music! BOOM BOOM! The bastards. Anyway, I chased the little fuzzy brat around just for her to run back into the house when my daughter opened the door to go out and wait for the bus! I was so mad and out of breath! In a nutshell, people and the Soph just piss me off at times. I'm ready for a peaceful life for a change. The Soph makes life great in spite of it all. She's a doll! The fuzzy brat!

OOPS!

Oh dear! I learn something new every day. My 10 yr old daughter usually gives Sophie her baths, which explains a lot. I've not had a chance to make an appointment with the groomer, either. The other night, we were watching tv when this awful smell permeated the air. We looked everywhere,found nothing, and decided one of the critters must have had gas. Well, a few minutes later, it was back, more pungent than ever! It went away again. I figured Sophie must have gas, so I asked my daughter to take her out. As soon as she picked her up, this awful smell filled the room and I noticed this huge "patty," for the lack of a better term, pan-caked to Sophie's bum!!! I would rather it have been flatulence. Oh geez, apparently a "web" formed between baths, finally dense enough to 'catch' everything!!! EW! I'm not going into details about cleaning THAT up. Well, I thought I had the solution. I didn't listen to that stupid little voice asking me "Are you sure you don't want to rethink this?" So, I went ahead and got some electric clippers at the dollar store, thinking well, men use them on their face every day....it can't be that difficult. Well, I got nowhere with the guard on, so I took it off. It took 3 of us to hold Sophie in place, but that fur just zipped right off. I didn't cut her, but part of her fanny got a bit pink,just enough to get rid of the "web." Well, it must have been a little too much, because she dragged her fanny around for a while by her front paws, back legs stretched out in front of her. Maybe it's prickly or something? After that, she seemed to feel kind of liberated. Either way, she's going to the groomers soon, which is obviously where I should have taken her to begin with. My 'little voice' needs a remote for the shock collar I also need. The shock collar also needs to be set at "taser." Poor little Soph! I was only trying to help!