The Fluffy, Walking, Barking $hit Machine

How does something so small, who eats so little, take so many dumps? It defies the laws of physics. I understand, what goes in must come out, but there has to be more going in than I'm aware of, because there's a LOT coming out!!! If the Soph were a soldier, she's be the land-mine queen. I mean, Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot??!! Dangit man!!! She's a professional turd machine!! At this volume, I should consider trying to sell it to local farmers. I put her on the lanyard outside to feed her. I even mix it with wet food to make it more appealing, so she'll eat it and take her dump outside. She eats well, and I measure her food. Tonight, I let her stay out for 2 hours to let it out of her system before I brought her in. Within 15 minutes, the little heffer laid one right where I walk through the living room!!! She had to have saved it up. It must have taken restraint, because it was even larger than normal. Great. I now have a dog with a cat attitude. As if I'm not ENOUGH of a servant!! The furr-balls will have chains and shackels on me next, you watch and see. Like Zeus. He's a HOUSE cat. He HATES going outside. His litter box is in the garage. If I forget to scoop it or change it, he'll take a dump right where I step out of the car when I get home from work. I still have a pair of shoes out there to scrape off. AAARRRGGGHHH!!! I should have them ALL stuffed and placed in pertinant locations around the house!!! Don't think taxidermy hasn't crossed my mind. Granted, I truly love them, but sometimes they seem like the spawn of Satan sent here to torment me. I like their sweeter side so much better! I couldn't ask for a more loving and adorable doggie than the Soph, when she's not taking dumps in the house!! Salem, Zeus and Biscuit can be just as loving and adorable. I just wish they'd clean their own box. Ew. It is so disgusting. Oh well. I love them. I'd have to, dealing with THAT. The Soph had a close call today!! When she's outside, which is not long, she's on a lanyard or leash, for her own protection. Well, some bigger dogs were roaming around free, and the Soph, being the most ferocious 8 ounce dog in the neighborhood, gave them the what-for!! Well, a ~80 lb dog tried to eat her, and were it not for my daughter, would have succeeded!!! Half her weight is in fuzz, I'm sure. My poor baby!!! My daughter would have been so devastated, as would we all, but especially her!!!! Thank God our Soph is ok! We always keep an eye on her, thank goodness, and the only point of the lanyard is our ineptness in the potty-training. I checked her out, and she's fine. Her defense mechanism was a continuous brain-piercing yelp that defied all human sound. GEEZ!!! We thought it was the yelps of DEATH!!! She's fine. As always, just a drama-queen. She's a doll though!! With all my fussing, I must confess that seeing her so happy when I get home from work, although her bladder gets excited too, just makes my day. I don't mind. Having someone that loves me that much is so worth it. I vent now, but I could no more hurt her feelings intentionally than my own children, whom as all mothers, I'd die for without hesitation. I'd be nothing without my wonderful children, God Bless them. The Soph and my kitties are my pseudo-children. Speaking of such, I had an issue the other day with a guy parked in a car in front of my house at dark. Freaked me out. So, this morning before work, I put the Soph on the lanyard and was bringing out her breakfast when I saw a car approaching very slowly. My first thought was "oh crap, I need to get to work and can't call the police again." Didn't want to deal with another fool lurking around, possibly to murder a child in the neighborhood or break in a house...no, my neighborhood isn't that bad, I'm just aware it's possible. Well, as I put her food down, a white mid-size dog ran up, and the lady, with her husband, in the car asked would I please hold her so they could get her, that she gets out and they can't catch her. Bless their hearts, I know how that feels. I've had 2 hit by cars because I couldn't get them back in once they got out, (so we're emphatically protective of Sophie. We can't handle another loss). Well, I pet the dog, and just scooped her up and held her and took her to her worried parents. I got a "Merry Christmas"!!! It just made my whole day!!! I was SO blessed to have the opportunity to help someone AND get a Merry Christmas!! I can't think of many better ways to start a day!!! God Bless America, my family, my great friends, and Thank God for all of them. I've had too many devastating losses in my life to not appreciate so many who have made a difference. I've learned, the hard way, to never take anyone or anything for granted. With that, I learned I'll never walk on water, but neither will anyone else, so I should not expect them to. On the same token, I'm only human, so if the Soph doesn't want to have to take a crash-course on walking on water, she best stop crapping in my house!!! Just kidding!!! I love the little fuzz-butt!!!! Merry Christmas & God Bless!!!!

Puppy Grunts

I love to hear The Soph do her little puppy grunts! It's so adorable!! I don't even know how to begin to describe the "grunting" sound puppies make. That's one of my favorite sounds in the world. The Soph has a new cousin, Miley!!! I have a picture of her on e-mail from Facebook, but it won't let me get the pic to post here. Fascists, I tell you!!! Anyway, the Soph eats Eukanuba dog food. Her breeder started her out on it, and when I looked at the price, I was like, "Jiminy Crickets!!!" Well, she'd given me a coupon,(I wanted to be a good puppy mom)so I bought it. www.eukanuba.com has some great information. I researched there, and other places, and found that this is certainly best for Sophie. Since it has the best ingredients, she doesn't require as much food to achieve her nutritional needs as she would if I fed her other dog-foods. I've been meaning to look for a while, and forgot, but I looked at the cats' food while ago, and the first ingredient is yellow corn. WTF?? These are CATS!!! No wonder Zeus has issues and Salem & Biscuit hunt so much!!! Plus, they go through so much food!!! I am going to try a better quality food for them too, starting this week-end. I understand now why Biscuit likes to chow down on Sophie's food. That's the good stuff! The heck with rats to supplement the crappy catfood I buy for them!!! The Soph actually used the paper today!!!! Woo-hoo!!! I'm not sure if our clapping and cheering encouraged her or traumatized her though. We shall see.... Darn Salem ran a live mouse into the garage the other night. I just KNOW he brought it into the house, because Zeus is over here studying the space under the microwave stand. Aaaarrrgghh!!! Lizards, mice and moles, OH MY!!! They bring all these creatures into the house, and WHO has to deal with it!!? Yes, yours truly!!! It scared the crap out of me!! One night, I was lying in bed, and heard this loud, blood-curdling, inhuman sound!!! See, I've always been a horror flick buff, read all these books and watched all these shows on hauntings. I just KNEW there was some kind of supernatural creature in the living room!!! When I heard it, I half expected my daughter to be in there with her head going 360 degrees and puking pea soup, cursing in Latin!! I am a big chicken. Still afraid of the dark and all possible boogers lurking there. I'm amazed I didn't have a stroke right there. I got up, shaking like a leaf. Terrified, I opened my door, and looked around. I saw something move! It was a tiny, furry little mole!! I caught the darn thing with a paper towel and put it outside. Dang it! A day or two later, I heard a similar sound, and found a very injured baby rabbit in my daughter's closet! I had no idea moles and rabbits could make that unGodly screeching sound!!! I tried to save the rabbit, and just when I was about to take it to the vet, it passed away. It was so sad. I'm so glad the cats like Sophie!!! Otherwise, they'd have enjoyed them some Canine a' la carte.

Dancing with the Sophie

The Soph is so awesome in so many ways. Everyone has seen how animals love unconditionally, yada, yada, yada. It’s pretty much a given, especially if they are treated well, in my opinion. The Soph seems to have acquired so many human personality traits, that she reminds me of so many people that have ventured in and out of my life. That’s weird to me. That’s a little over-the-top. Puzzeling, but true. I never believed in reincarnation, although I like to fantasize about coming back as certain animals to terrorize those that have tortured me. Like this kid in 6th grade, before I got braces, that terrorized me, making up songs and calling me “Bucky-Beaver.” I’d like to come back as a gianormous twinkie with the legs of a Praying Mantis and chase his fat tail around a while. The little $%#!*&. But there’s Sophie, who still loves me, even when I accidentally trip over her. I don’t mean to, and try hard to watch where I step, but she’s so small and bouncy, and I am the least graceful human being to walk the planet. Literally, I roll over my own foot, in my own chair, at my own desk, and in my own office, well cube now. But she’s resilient, and maybe my clodhoppers aren’t so bad, because she hasn’t been injured with my clutzness. She’s lying in her little bed now, just absorbing life. I have never seen such happiness and love in my entire life…let me be more specific by adding the world REAL after such.
I need to get a decent sound system beyond the ipod, because, apparently, The Soph likes to dance. Not to music, so far, but she dances. I’m sure we’d have a blast if I could play some music and dance with her, hmmm, possibly breaking a few bones in the process...mine and/or hers. Maybe I'll just watch. I’m just not always as high on life as she is. I need inspiration. She is like, “FOOD!!!! I am SO happy!!!” or “You’re HOME!!!! YESSS!!!!!! This is the best thing thats ever happened to me” or “I peed on the floor!!! So what!!!!! You act like nothing happened because you didn‘t catch me!!!! Even when you do, I act like nothing happened!!! Yippee!!!” She’s a trip. I can’t get mad at her. I may for a split second, but those eyes!!!! Oh geez, I’m such a whimp!!! I almost melt when she cocks her little fuzzy head to the side.. It’s similar with the kids & the cats. Aarrgggghhh. Oh well. We only live once. May as well get the most happiness out of it we can.

The Cat Door

Poor Sophie. She wants to play with the cats SO BAD!!! You know how cats are. They'll lie there and act like they're ignoring, while she jumps around franticly trying to get their attention. Then, Salem will stand up and raise his paw, just out of her reach, to "laugh" at her while she jumps at it. Then, he'll swish his tail to distract her...he's so sarcastic! When they've had enough of her ear-nibbling and pouncing, they put on the real torture. They go through the cat door to the garage. Sophie hasn't quite mastered the cats door yet. Either that, or she doesn't have enough behind on her yet to push the flap. Sometimes I let her out there just to offend the cats. I really don't think I can do much to offend them, except for to buy the wet cat-food for 2 weeks and stop. Haha!! It's bad enough I have to spend a fortune on the urinary tract formula, rather than plain, because of Zeus's sensitive bladder. Sometimes having pets can be almost as complicated as having children, but I feel it's worth it. I still have never seen anything funnier than watching the Soph chase her tail! Picture a short-wheel base truck, or even a VW Bug, doing donuts really fast via bouncing! She gets excited and does that when she misses me. She'll make a bee-line down the hall, lay her ears back, and run back, do a few donuts, and stand on her hind legs and hold up her front legs at me, pawing at the air. The, she'll sit down and "speak." She could be telling me every location she contaminated the floor for all I know, but she's such a doll!!! Yes, I have to follow her around with Lysol and paper towels. That's not fun, but I'm no pro at the potty training. I've been reading up on it and trying to learn a way that will be effective and not scar her for life. She's really happy playing with these gargantuan cats. I met Salem and Zeus's family when I adopted them from the same litter. I never expected these guys to be so huge. Their vet has checked them regularly, and everything is normal. She said they were just "big cats." The only "scraps" they eat is water drained from the tuna cans, which is not often. I added a picture of Biscuit here to introduce him. I would add a picture of Salem, except he and Zeus look nearly identicle in pictures. I've mentioned before how ferocious Sophie is. She barks and is as fearless as a Great Dane or Pit Bull if she feels the need to be protective! This worries me in a way....but she reminds me a little of my daughter. She is a teenager and built like the Pink Panther. Great girl! I could not have been Blessed with a better child! Haha! One night we heard a strange noise at the door. It wasn't too long after I'd been car-jacked at gun-point, so we were a little edgy. We weren't sure if it was human or animal, but we went to investigate. She told me to "hold on." So I was at the door, turning the motion light on, when she said, "OK, open it." Man! I turned around to look at her holding a shotgun, as big as she was, cocked, aimed, and ready!!! I am not even sure if I have the words to describe that moment. She was so calm, collected, and strong. I felt as if I was looking at a human being I had never seen before. Like in a movie, so many scenes flashed before my eyes. Decades of our soldiers, her age during many wars, fighting and dying for our country....for our freedom. There she was, this frail-looking child, fearless, ready for anything, to protect her mother and her family. Words can't express....and God know's I'll never be worthy of this child, nor could I ever take full credit for the way she's turning out, but I'm proud of her all the same...She can still be an aggravating teen, but I have a different respect of her. She never ceases to amaze me. It seems we learn something new every day!!

Sophie's First Snow

The Soph and I woke up Saturday morning to snow!! I put her little sweater on, and took her outside to investigate. Apparently, it was delicious, because she immediately began eating it! After she ate some, the facination wore off, and she just wanted to come back in. She wasn't too crazy about wearing the sweater, either. I thought it was cute. Oh well!! Such is life!

Zeus and Sophie

It's not easy to verbalize a believable, realistic description of the size difference between Sophie and Zeus, so I've taken a few pictures so that you can get a visual of what I mean.

12/04/09

You know how cute it is when you see someone riding down the road with a little dog perched on their shoulder? Everyone is like, "OH HOW SWEET!!!!" Well, yes, it is really cute, but there's another side to it I never considered. Except for work & school, Sophie usually rides with us everywhere we go. She likes riding. Usually she'll sit in the crook of my arm and look out the window, or lay her little head on my chest and take a snooze. Well, we got onto the interstate for the first time the other day. With all the other cars & new things to see, Sophie crawled up and stood on my shoulder to get a good look at the action. She was so excited at all the cars whizzing around, dancing a bit trying to stay balanced up there, with her wagging little tail patting my cheek! Well, she got excited about a vehicle behind us, and began barking her ferocious little "arf! arf!" i supposed she must have strained herself a bit, because the next thing I knew, I was gagging & my eyes were watering!! Dry-heaving, I yelled at Miranda to please get her!! Can you give puppies Beano? Oh well, we live and learn, lol! Note to self: make sure the dangerous end of the dog is pointed away from my face. She so cute though!!!

She also likes watching dog shows on tv. She'll hear them bark, so she'll run up to the screen and bark so hard, it'll pick her up off the floor, just like in the cartoons! Then, she'll turn and run as fast as she can down the hall and back and go bark at them again! I'm going to upload some videos of her on here soon. She's such a trip! Oh great! Zeus is at it again! I have their water in a reservoir container so they always have plenty. Please tell me why the cat does not play with anything he has other than that? He likes to watch the water "swish," so he bats at it and knocks it around until he spills all of it out! Of course this wouldn't be an issue if this crazy cat weren't the size of a dang Schnauzer!!! It's so funny. Sophie comes up to his shoulder, and when she wants to play, she'll stand on her hind legs and box at him. He'll walk around ignoring it for a while, then he'll raise his paw like he's going to swat her, but he stops before he touches her. That's so sweet! All three of the cats are gentle with her like that. They sit or lay there and take it, while she's bouncing all over and around them getting every nip and lick in that she can. it's hilarious!

Thursday, December 03, 2009

I adopted my baby Pom, Sophie, on 11-06-09. She was born 07-17-09. I had every intention of just making a down-payment on a newborn pup for the kids. Yes, I researched adoption of a rescue dog & all, but my childs' tears pressed me to act NOW!!! I was (note the past tense) a CAT person....until we met Sophie. SHE picked US. She had a breeder that was more like a "Mom" to her than a animal owner. Maybe that's how Sophie acquired her human traits? There this girl was, on her hind legs pawing at us with this expression on her face saying "There you are!! Where have you been & what kept you!!!? I've been waiting for you to come get me!!!" There went my heart and soul!! I could not leave that fuzzy little fluff ball no more than I could have left my own flesh and blood! She licked us all as if she'd never been held in her life, although it was obvious that her breeder, June, was as devoted to this little girl as I have been my own children. In a warm room full of pups, with a TV playing for them, and all of them smelling fresh as a summer field, it was obvious these animals were more well-taken care of than most children. God Bless June at StardustPoms.com!!! She loves her babies! Anyway, I have these 3 cats. Well, Felines. You know how cats are. Well, maybe not...these are some characters. Salem, Zeus, and Biscuit. Salem and Zeus are brothers from the same litter. I adopted Biscuit from my friend a couple years later. To give a history, these are all neutered males, and they are best friends. They have very distinct personalities. They are all fairly large cats, which my friend, D, calls "Panthers." Zeus is a complete house cat & the biggest. He's tallest & weighs around 14 lbs. Solid black. He is very needy and will keep me up all night making biscuits in my hair if I let him stay in my room. He's terrified if he gets stuck outside, so if i leave the garage open, and he ventures a few inches out, I have to be sure to get him back in so he won't hunker down and Army-crawl around the house me-owing to the top of his lungs with a terriffied look crawling around the perimeter of the house. Bless his heart! Salem and Biscuit are hunters. They come in to snack and nap, then they go hunt and bring home all kinds of things. During the summer, when I leave the garage open, (I have a cat-door from the garage to the kitchen), they bring in live creatures & make life very interesting. Otherwise, the drive & sidewalk are littered with their "gifts" of moles and mice. They save the interesting things for the house, like live chipmunks & lizards. Oh geez...I won't go there. Anyway, when I brought Sophie home, the cats played a new version of monopoly on me. Instead of drawing the card that says "Go directly to jail and do not collect $200," they gave me the card saying "Go to HELL. Go STRAIGHT TO HELL. Forget Go, Forget EVERYTHING." They have issues. It took a few weeks of canned cat-food to get their forgiveness. They're still barely associating with me. But, such is life. My little Sophie bounces around like a little ball of fur. She has the sweetest little face!!! I've never seen a creature, in my life, so full of love, adoration, and trust. She looks like a little fuzzy house-shoe!!! She just bounces around like all her legs act as one! We're having difficuly potty-training her.. We really don't know what we're doing there, but I'm seeking local expertise. I have a co-worker whose daughter is somewhat of a dog-whisperer, so maybe we'll get some good advice! Anyway, the cats are normal, just large (not overweight) per the vet. Biscuit, the smallest @ 12 lbs, towers Sophie (@ about 1 lb). They are gentle with her and are getting used to her pouncing and harrassing them like a little sister. The cats try to be non-chalant and all, but they like her. I can tell.